How does Self-Love feel? We're giving you 5 characteristics
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How does Self-Love feel? We're giving you 5 characteristics

Yesterday we showed you how to find out whether you love yourself or not. Today we want to show you how you feel (yes, feel!) when you love yourself.

But before I give you more characteristics of self-love, I first want to explore with you what the difference is between seeing and feeling.

Reading about how self-love manifests itself is fairly simple. Do a Google search on self-love and you’ll find way more than you’ve bargained for. Within seconds you’ll see endless lists with characteristics on self-love. And if you would care to read them all, you’ll probably find that all of them are right too.

In each and every of those lists, you’ll come across at least 1 item that you like and that you will then try to implement in your life. Only to find out that this is just another good intention you’ll be able to keep up with for no more than the next 72 hours.

Your head knows exactly what Self-Love is

There you are. Your head knows exactly what self-love is, but your body doesn’t. YOU JUST DON’T FEEL IT.  And yet, ‘feeling it’ is precisely the right key that opens the door to loving yourself.

Because as soon as you feel that you love yourself, all these lists suddenly don’t matter anymore. All your studying happiness suddenly doesn’t matter anymore. All this advice from the ‘so-called experts’ doesn’t matter anymore. Because you feel this in every cell of your body, YOU LOVE YOURSELF. And you love your life as it presents itself to you, with the bitter and the sweet moments alike.

radical self love

What does Self-Love feel like?

Let’s begin by saying that it’s different for everyone and at the same time we see that people who have love for themselves, also have common characteristics. Let’s have a closer look at 5 of these common characteristics:

  • People with self-love are grateful for what they experience during the day. They are not only practicing gratefulness but they also really feel grateful.
  • People with self-love are able to give without having to get something in return. They feel free to give and they feel grateful that they can give.
  • People who have self-love recognize and acknowledge it if there is pain in their lives. They recognize that this is a part of life too. They deal with it because they know that by doing so they will be wiser and freer afterward.
  • People with self-love have fun in their life, in their private life and at work. They live autonomous lives and they are not waiting for or dependent on the approval of somebody else -like for example their father, mother, grandfather and grandmother-.
  • People with self-love are leaders of their own life. Life doesn’t just happen to them, they are giving their own life direction.

Now that we’ve told you how self-love feels like, it is time to ask you this question: What about your own self-love?

So let’s do an exercise:

Let’s measure your level of self-love.

Rate yourself on a scale of 1-10 on these 5 above characteristics of self-love. And please be 100% honest. The more honest you rate yourself the more insights you’ll get about the amount of love you have for yourself.

  • Look at your ratings and group them by using the traffic light method:
    – Write behind every score of 1-4 the word ‘red’
    – Write behind every score of 5-7 the word ‘orange’
    – Write behind every score of 8-10 the word ‘green’

Now feel the meaning of the red, the orange and the green score. If you are standing in front of a traffic light you immediately know what the consequences are of driving through red, orange or green. When the light is red there is a risk, when the light is orange you have to be careful and when the light is green you are safe.

You now know exactly in which areas your self-love is safe or at risk.

You know what to focus on now, so the real question here is; ‘do you really want to acknowledge your lack of self-love’ or do you prefer to stay in denial because you are afraid to ‘get involved’ in something that you don’t feel comfortable with.  

To be honest, many people have a gratitude journal nowadays and many people will say that they are giving very easily without wanting anything in return. People will say that they are being loved and kind towards themselves. But what if you do all this and you are still avoiding your pain. What if you are constantly trying to please others, your family, your partner, your employer … and what if you feel that life is happening to you and you don’t really know how to give your life direction?

Your Self-Love cracks

This is your self-love showing cracks. And just like a teacup with cracks, you can glue it back together but the cup will always stay weak. And this goes for your self-love too.

Today Sorry, we can’t make it more beautiful than it is here and now. You just recognizing and acknowledging what isn’t there at this moment in time, is a part of you loving yourself. And that is something you just don’t want to avoid.

And … we’ll be back tomorrow with more insights on self-love. Don’t worry; we won’t let you down. We’ll help you with your red and your orange scores. Tomorrow we will be back with: ‘I’m in pain and I do not know how to deal with it’.

See you tomorrow ❤

About the author
We are Briant [1958] & Jaldhara [1960] both Dutch. We help you to reconnect with your Self-Love, your Self-Healing ability, and your Autonomy. We are the authors of the e-book ‘How to Live The Life You Love’ and we are the creators of the 'Self-Love DNA' and 'Accelerate your Self-Love', the groundbreaking program that will deeply and permanently transform your level of inner safety and Self-Love.
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