The real reason why you don't love yourself
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The real reason why you don't love yourself

The ultimate reason why you don’t love yourself is because you don’t feel inwardly safe.

Inner safety and inner unsafety are phenomena most of you haven’t heard about in relation to Self-Love. You haven’t because you don’t recognize your inner safety and inner unsafety patterns and signals. What are these patterns and signals then, what do they look and feel like?

Unsafe patterns and signals

Let’s take the example of you feeling dependent in a relationship, when you do, you also feel inwardly unsafe in that relationship. 

The result of this unsafe feeling manifesting itself on the OUTSIDE: you adapt your behavior to please the other one, you set little to no boundaries, you accept behavior that you don’t like, you freeze when you should act, you are silent when you should speak etc.

The result of this unsafe feeling manifesting itself on the INSIDE: you feel afraid to stand up for yourself, you feel afraid of the consequences when you do stand up, you feel afraid of the anger of the other, you feel afraid of the exclusion of not being loved or liked by the other etc.

Why are you feeling unsafe within yourself? Because you feel you are not loved, you feel you are not worth it, you feel you do not belong, you feel you are not good enough the way you are. We call this; ‘you do not claim your birthright’.

What is the root cause of your inner unsafety?
Feeling inwardly unsafe is always about you energetically being stuck in an unsafe childhood feeling or unsafe childhood memory, we call this your ‘child position’. Typical feelings you have when you are in this child position are:  I am a victim, I have no power, there is no way out, my opinion doesn’t matter, my voice will not be heard, I can’t make a difference, I need to be protected, I need to be saved.

Lack of Self-Love

The minute you are stuck in an unsafe childhood feeling or unsafe childhood memory you lack Self-Love. That is why we say that the ultimate reason why you don’t love yourself is because you don’t feel inwardly safe.

Is there a way out?

Yes, the way out is to make the transition from feeling inwardly unsafe to feeling inwardly safe. To make the transition from the child position to the adult or autonomous position. How do you do that? You de-activate the unsafe childhood feeling and/or unsafe childhood memory. And you activate the feeling of inner safety that comes with the adult position.

This is what we call Self-Love. Self-Love on a level where it matters most: you being autonomous in your adult position.

In our breakthrough program ‘Accelerate your Self-Love’ we teach you how to make this transition with a revolutionary new use of EFT [Emotional Freedom Technique]. We start a new group every month, mail us when you want to participate.

About the author
We are Briant [1958] & Jaldhara [1960] both Dutch. We help you to reconnect with your Self-Love, your Self-Healing ability, and your Autonomy. We are the authors of the e-book ‘How to Live The Life You Love’ and we are the creators of the 'Self-Love DNA' and 'Accelerate your Self-Love', the groundbreaking program that will deeply and permanently transform your level of inner safety and Self-Love.
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