I’m in pain and I do not know how to deal with it
I’m in pain and I do not know how to deal with it
25 October 2018 

I’m in pain and I do not know how to deal with it

That is most probably not what you are saying to yourself when you are in emotional pain. But it sure is what you are feeling. You feel hopeless or helpless or angry or numb or sad. And this feeling is very much in the now and very real. And if you are honest with yourself that feeling is not at all new to you. That very familiar feeling comes back to you often or occasionally. But no matter how much or how little it is present in your life, one thing is for sure; you don’t really know how to deal with it. Every time it’s present in your life, you hang in there till it’s blown over again. And it usually goes away after a while and you forget about it until it’s suddenly back again. And when it’s back it is always very uncomfortable, very unpleasant and very draining.

What if I told you that this uncomfortable feeling you are experiencing right now is, in reality, an echo calling out to you. It’s an echo of your past. In fact, it’s the younger version of you calling out to you; ‘hey, hello, I am in pain’! It’s the younger you that is roughly between 0 and 10 years old. Once you know and accept this and once you start to notice this more, you are halfway there already. Suddenly dealing with your pain has become much more possible. Pain will no longer be something that just takes over your emotions; emotional pain will be something that you can handle and you know how to deal with.

Why is that? Because once you know and accept that almost all emotional discomfort you are feeling right now is your inner child calling for your attention, you’ve also found the key to the solution. The only real exception here is PTSD caused by traumatic events that happened to you in your adolescence. And yet many of the strong emotional, psychological and physiological reactions that are related to PTSD are exactly the same, only in a much milder form, when a traumatic moment you experienced in your childhood is being triggered in the now.

Let’s have a closer look at that. Nobody comes out of his or her childhood without a single bad memory. And many humans come out of it with loads of bad memories. Some of these memories are just memories that you can remember without being emotionally triggered. While other memories trigger an emotional, psychological or physiological reaction. Why is that? It’s because there is pain, fear or shock attached to that memory. When any of these 3 components are present during the moment the event took place, we speak of a traumatic memory. And this doesn’t have to cause a huge trauma, in memory land every trauma is a trauma, be it light or be it heavy.

When something that happens to you in the now triggers any of your traumatic childhood memories you will experience emotional discomfort in the now. Be it emotional pain, anger, sadness, loneliness, numbness, disconnectedness, dissociation or fear of losing control to name a few. So it is safe to say that when you want to get rid of any of these feelings or symptoms you have to go back to the moment the traumatic event happened.

There are easy techniques to do that through direct communication with your younger you, your Inner Child. We call this direct communication with your younger you ‘Inner Child Healing’. This week we started ‘a 4 piece master class series on Inner Child Healing’ in our Community: SELF-LOVE LAB.

These traumatic memories are stored in your vibrational field, made up of your body, mind and soul, they are your unhealed emotions or your dysfunctional patterns being present in your so-called ‘unhealed layers’. Each and every of these unhealed emotions or dysfunctional patterns are responsible for you not loving yourself. Every time an unhealed emotion or dysfunctional pattern presents itself in the now because it’s been triggered, you will immediately lack self-love. Self-love and unhealed emotions don’t go together, it’s that simple. That is why you will free up tremendous amounts of self-love, positive energy and inner freedom the moment you start to work with the traumatic memories of your younger you. That is why doing that is so beneficial.

So working directly with your Inner Child, will give you a lot of self-love but there is another simple technique to discover how much or how little self-love you have right now.

We will tell you more about this beautiful technique in our next blog.

 

Meet & Work with Your Inner Child:

Inner Child Healing

 

 

About the author
We are Briant [1958] & Jaldhara [1960] both Dutch. Since 2014 we work and live location independent, preferably in places with sea, sand and sun. We are both online therapists and work together since 1995. We coach, teach and write about Radical Self-Love, a 7-step method on how to love yourself more.