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The struggle of give and take

The struggle of give and take

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In that endless dance of give and take
The dance of balance between man and woman
Woman and woman
Man and man
Those of you that are in a love relationship

In every love relationship
No matter the nature of that relationship
There is a dance of balance
There is an equilibrium
Without it a relationship would not work
And for many of you there is this struggle of give and take
Some of you give more than they receive
So they give more than the other one gives in return
But is it always the other one not giving enough in return
Or is it you, yourself not being able to receive
For many of you have learnt to give
But have never learnt to receive
And many of you are afraid to give freely
For it is not what you have learnt
Because in giving freely there is risk
And risk is something that you have learnt is dangerous
So you will not take risks when it comes to love
And when it even comes to giving your heart
And when it comes to giving, in general

So this whole balance of give and take
Begins with you
With you giving yourself enough

And what do we mean by giving yourself enough
It is the capacity to give and take and to receive
So to take
If that balance within you is not in order
Is not functioning well
Is not in balance
If you are not balanced in the give and take department
It certainly will not work within a relationship
Any relationship

So if there is a disbalance in the relationship
Between give and take
And you have the feeling that you give all the time
And the other one doesn’t give back, not enough
Of course you will start to blame the other one
You will start to question the relationship
Is he or is she the one for me
Is this the woman or the man I want to spend time with

But before you do that
First go and scrutinize your own capacity to give and take
And in most cases you will notice
That you yourself are not balanced there
And the level where you have to fix it
Is the level of your inner-child period
The period where you are
Roughly between zero and ten, eleven
There is somewhere a disturbance there
A misconception about letting go of control

So there is some disturbance there that is based on fear
You, as a child, have had a memory and an experience
And you have now a memory of that experience
Where you took a risk and that risk turned sour
So, it went bad
You got punished by taking the risk
You got disappointed
And you became careful
And now there is a disbalance between giving and taking
Because for many of you
Giving is far more easy than taking and receiving
Of course, you take love
You take money
You take food
But to receive the other one into your energy field
To welcome the other one into your energy field
To let the other one in
And accept the other one as he or she is
With all flaws
With all impossibilities
With all imperfections
That is truly an art form
To receive the other person as he or she is
It’s the first love relationship
Accept the other one fully
But not only accept the other one
Also love the other one
And listen, hey, with some people
You just can’t do it
So they are not the right people for you
They have too much ass hole in them
For you to love them or like them
So then that’s the wrong person, you know
You can really fight hard to make the relationship work
But it will always be a challenge
And it will always be out of balance
Because you basically do not even like the other one
Truly like and accept the other one
So that’s where it starts

And once you can receive the other one
Into your energy field
And into your heart
And you can truly love that person
And accept that person
Then you have also
You have to take from that person
Take attention
Take affection
Take memories
Take good times
Take bad times
Take laughter
Take pain
The whole package
But you have to actively take

And sometimes you will have to confront
And to challenge the other person
Like, hey, I like to take from you
But there is nobody there
Hey, hello
Are you still alive
Are you still breathing

The other one might be
Shut off or occupied or stressed or whatever
See, if this is occasionally, it is okay
But if this is permanently
There is something wrong in the life of the other one
And he or she will have to fix that
And you will have to address it
Like, hey, this, the way it goes now
It’s not going to work for me

That is all in the field of taking
Holding the other one accountable
Talking to the other one
That’s what you are really doing there
It is saying, listen, I want this relationship to work
And we have to work on it together
So I have to work on my shit
And you have to work on your shit

If you only give
And do not hold the other one responsible or accountable
And you are not talking to the other one
And you are not saying, listen
This is not going to work for me this way
I need you to be awake
I need you to be alive
I need you to participate
I need you to be there
I need you to fully be present
And committed in the relationship

If you do not do that and only give and give and give
You are going to be depleted
Your battery will be depleted in no time
And you will be left behind
With disappointment and anger
And frustration and pain
Because the relationship will end
Because the relationship didn’t work
Why, because you were only giving
And you were not taking

So there is two levels here
First of all
Your own inner balance of the capacity of giving and taking
And then there is holding the other one accountable
For participating in the relationship
And it all starts with saying what you feel
And saying what you want
And saying what you don’t want

And there is a lot of you who do not do it
Out of fear of spoiling the relationship
But let me tell you one thing
If you do not address that what you want and expect
From the relationship
If you do not address that
You will spoil the relationship anyway
Because at some point you will start to complain
And to nag and to deny the other one love
And you will be angry
And you will be grumpy
And you will have a racket against the other one

Why, because you are not talking
You are only expecting
And the other one is not responding
And so you will be disappointed
And out of this disappointment
You will start to address that what is lacking
But you are not really addressing it
You are complaining only
So it also demands from your side

An active commitment in the relationship
Being there, addressing what is needed
And sentences like, hey
Let’s make this relationship work together
And I need you to be there
I need you to be alive
And you need to hold me accountable
For being alive
And for being there for you
To participate in the relationship
You must hold me accountable
I must hold myself accountable
And you must hold yourself accountable
These are sentences that you can easily say to the other one
And you create a reality that way

So this was all about the balance of giving and taking and receiving
And of course this goes for any relationship
But especially for a love relationship
For it is so close and so intense
The thing is, you cannot get away from it
And if you are not fully present in a love relationship
It is not going to work
In the long run, it will not work

So, if you want to make it work
Be there
Be present
Be active
Be alive
And summon your partner to have that same aliveness
Expect nothing less
Why would you
Why would you waste your life
Tip toeing around each other
Instead of meeting each other
And loving each other
And being there for each other
Fully being there for each other

This is what we wish for you

This was my message
Thank you

The MANTRA for today is:


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